of boys and girls

WOES OF BEING A GENTLEMAN

I was just walking along when I spotted this damsel in distress and being the lam that I am, yours truly was obliged- albeit half heartedly, to come to the rescue and save the day. Well, it was a pretty sorry sight as the lady tried to salvage her books from the ground, struggling to stay upright on her wobbly high heels all the while making a futile effort to conceal her precious cargo from the passing public.

I have to admit as a matter of fact that she was undeniably a beauty. Anyway, the miniskirt, which was more of a scarf I should say, provoked the attention of any normal man’s prying eyes to attempt getting a glimpse of the hidden treasures underneath. Her bosom’s occupants were really feeling the pinch of real estate scarcity as the top was clearly fashioned as a cost cutting measure. It seemed her tenants would pop out at the slightest intrusion, what with her distressing efforts to bend over in very precarious positions at the same time juggling with the weave that was constantly blocking her view.

To add salt to injury, the morning draft was scattering her papers all over the place. Out of sheer pity and a little chivalrous heart, I went out of my way to chase the damn papers across the football pitch, over a fence and into some thickets. Our damsel just stood there looking pretty, impatiently twitching her heel while making a very important call about making a seat reservation in class but I did not mind at that moment, until now. When her little serf was done, the young miss just stuffed the papers in her huge purse and left.

Oh yes, not even a pat on the back, let alone a teeny weenie smile or a much deserved ‘thank you’ but evidently where women come from, you do not get thanked for doing your job. Even dogs get treats when they play fetch but I settle for a cold dissertation and a hurt conscience for the troubles I go through when trying to be nice for a change but it gets mistaken for a petty cry for affection. Whenever a guy tries to help a pretty lady out, it is as if there is this huge banner on his torso shouting “HOOT! HOOT! Watch out, Hopeless romantic coming through!”