riots, riots, more riots

I do not find it peculiar that our dignified lecturers are rioting all over town, actually it is the hip thing now and everybody is doing it. Egypt started it, Libya did it, and Syria is still doing it. The Occupy Wall Street thing in US has no real agenda but in Kenya, we give new meaning to ‘protest’ in our own cool way. If you do not know how to strike, dude you are so ol’ skul and you should…seriously, MUST get lessons from You Tube ASAP. Yo, this how we get down and dirty around here bro!!

It is humbling when your tutor comes to you seeking handy strategies on how to organize and execute a ‘safe’ running battle with the police. Tactics of laying boulders on the highway and hurling rocks with accuracy were formally instructed to our eager lecturers. Who will turn down the assurance of better grades in the dreaded State and Development class? They must have planned this for a long time, fine-tuning the onslaught to the very tiny details with the precision of ‘operation Linda Nchi’.

In their plans, it seems they overlooked one crucial aspect of their physique. Advice: you cannot exercise your right to riot if you never exercise. We will have to rely on the reformed police/thugs to knock some sense into their heads that they are not as nimble as they used to be. Who are they kidding, with their beer bellies and vitenges, these people are no match for our new and improved law enforcement force. The idea of Mr. Musisi and the flamboyant Mrs. Anyonje running from a mob of bloodthirsty GSU officers brandishing rungus is unfathomable. To think that Ole Kamau will be able to subdue the anti-riot police with his threats that make me dread every Monday morning is just horseplay. 

As the lecturers meant to mentor us are busy picketing and mouthing profanities in the streets of Kakamega, occupants of room 118 are wondering why the work study students were left out. Obviously, they are the ones who get the peanuts of the peanuts paid to regular staff but heck if anyone cares.

For my part, I just wish we riot against more important things like, the high price of chicken since we are in Kakamega. Maybe we also riot against this girl who thinks dumping me makes the world a better place. Lady, look around, it is not like you turned down the heat on global warming and Kim Jong Il is not retiring any time soon. Last time I checked, the shilling is still behaving badly so come back and maybe we can do something about it.